Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in dieter's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, June 15th, 2004
8:03 pm	louden up now !!! :::::::::begin transmission:::::::::: betsy borst let me shit on her chest last night. i love her. becky rok star. ::::::::::end transmission:::::::::::::: Current Mood: cleveland steamer Current Music: montel jordan-this is how we do it (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 19th, 2003
10:31 pm	It was a grim and bitter tuesday morning that I realized the daunting fate that persued me on this day of days. I don't understand the true meaning behind it all, but that has something to do most probably with that square of blotter acid and that blue tablet that seemingly clouds my judgment. It was a ruby tuesday, but I suppose that doesn't mean much of anything. A bloody tuesday paints the same red picture of mundane and trivial events, so I will go with that. The point to my madness is to paint a grim and dark picture of the reality that is this miserable existance of fear and loathing. I however know that no picture needs to be painted, as to many it's the horrer that is there life - and but yet still to others it's the normal progression of their miserable existances. Whichever side your on, I praise the ignorant. They make me look like god, and at the same time criminalize my existance. I guess that's why the jews killed jesus. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, May 2nd, 2003
12:05 am	Which Unwanted Sexual Gesture Are You? Made by the fine folks at daylighttwilight.com (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 12th, 2003
7:32 pm	what does this say about me? I am Cledus the slack-jawed yokel! Which Simpsons Character are YOU? Current Mood: sick Current Music: Members of the Yellow Press (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
4:12 am	stay the fuck outta mayville, dead beat! ::::begin transmission::::: oh man, lemme tell you about my lil adventure tonite! I decided to join my partners in crime denny, matt and katie and attend a birthday party for some kid i didn't even know all the way out in fuckin Mayville. About an hour north from here. Really, the town was so desolate that the only thing that has happend in years is this birthday party that I was attending. We arrive in this kid's garage and begin drinking. I'm hittin the Smirnoff due to my allergic reaction to beer......okay, im not allergic to beer, i just hate the taste....get off my fuckin back! IN THE LAND OF NO BEER, THE GIRLIE DRINK DRUNK IS KING!!!!! This party was strange, i didn't know anyone there other than the people i arrived with. The kid's parents were there drinking with us. The girls were like ones that i never even dared to socialize with. Y'know the type, slutty outfits with eyebrows so pencil thin that they looked drawn on with a sharpie. yikes. The band playing had some really nice equipment, but played some of the worst shit i have ever heard, mostly horribly disfigured covers of Everclear, Alkaline Trio and Jimmy Eat World. More than just a bit cliche. I had mostly been socializing with denny and trying to convince strangers that Matt was telling the truth about her clit being pierced (not true, but great to tell strangers). I had been drinking for a while and my bladder was swelling like fat man at an "all you can eat" nite at Ponderosa. I was completely unfamilar with the house so i made my way upstairs in a drunken stupor. Once i was up there I found that the family had two extremely friendly dogs. I made my way in the bathroom only to find that one of the dogs had followed me in, so i was like ok whatever. I began peeing like a dam had broken when the affectionate dog nuzzled it's nose into my anus. I was so alarmed by this that I turned around, midpee mind you, and sed "what the hell, dog!" meanwhile getting pee everywhere in the bathroom and all over the dog. The dog was lickin it up like it was fuckin beer, i was like "oh shit!" and i took off outta there pretty damn quick. Once back in the basement I spent my time trying to convince the others to get the hell outta there all the while drinking more and more still. We were finally about to leave when Katie sez "ok, we'll go as soon as i go to the bathroom." For some reason i was overly confident that the dog had licked it all up and it was not to be an issue for Katie to urinate. On her way up she grabbed a purse shaped like a Coca Cola bag and handed it to me. I was like what the hell? then i put it back down where it was. Next thing i know the birthday boy's mom (who much like her husband looked exactly like Steve Perry from Journey, yikes!) and his girlfriend approached me screaming obsenities about how i had fucked with their property and they hated me and shit. I was like oh, god, how am i gonna get outta this one. A fork had fallen out of the bag and the mother went on and on about how it was her favorite fork and i was a total sonofabitch. good god, where do i go from here!? The remaining hour in which i had spent convincing den den that they were plotting to murder me, they were both shooting me the most evil looks ever! Finally i was like, c'mon, lets get the fuck outta here!!! As we were leaving she admitted that she had just been fucking with me, but i was still super freaked out. so we got outta there pretty damn quick. Two hours and two 99cent Wendy's doublestacks later I am back at the dorms with some very important lessons learned: 1)dont ever pee with a dog in the room 2)dont ever fuck with a coca cola purse no matter who hands it to ya. 3)STAY THE FUCK OUTTA MAYVILLE! whatta nite. love, dieter :::::end transmission:::::: Current Mood: distressed Current Music: The Faint-Danse Macabre (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 21st, 2003
8:15 pm	shazam! you're rachel renee, the human dictionary! as rachel, you are a true gemini who enjoys jack daniels, playing frisbee and being a cunning linguist. prompt, sincere, and equipped with the most messed up alarm clock this side of the mississippi, they didn't call you the human dictionary while you were growing up for nothing! ::::begin transmission::::: which first year uwm student are you? brought to you by Quizilla ummm, ok? damn, im pretty hot. I'm gonna go stare at my jahoobs in the mirror. love, dieter :::::end transmission:::: Current Mood: amused Current Music: Cursive-Burst and Bloom (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 19th, 2003
2:28 am	chicks; can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em! :::::begin transmission:::::: Valentine's Day went by in an intoxicated blur of embarrassment. we put the annual V-day tradition of going to Hooters and gawking at drunken couples on hold this year to attend a sort of paradox of the average Valentine's party. It was the Borsts, how could anything they're involved in be considered even close to traditional. We're talking about a party lacking in romance, but making up for in dirty dick jokes. Dates were discouraged with the claim "they are for fags." Unfortunately the statement "everyone gets laid" promised on the flyer did not live up to its contract for Diets. I don't remember a great deal of the night except i was a bit more bitter than usual, various fruits and cheeses, girls that left quickly, and drunkenly calling up girls that i knew from high school. good god. i woke up with a hickey on my neck, unfortunately recieved from a horny lil male who wouldn't take no for an answer. I will seek revenge, i promise you that. I tell everyone i got punched in the neck now. But alas, the weekend has ended and i am now entering the week, ugh, shit shit shit. so far two days, two exams. more to come, more to hate. To make things better i get to answer questions about how i spent valentine's day at a party with plenty of girls and the only action i got was a hickey from my friend craig. fantastic. I am so frustrated with my inability to talk to girls. i just get paralyzed and i can't do it. what am i sposda say to em!? what kind of arrogant self serving line can i come up? im drawing blanks. I guess i'm just shy, y'know, these days they call it stalking, but i'm just really shy. hee hee. The closest thing to a relationship that i have allowed myself to get involved in lately is the girl from the dorms that i am secretly stalking. fuck, i love girls with died black hair. I do little things to show her my affection. I like to hide outside her room, call her on the phone and hang up when she answers, send her pictures in the mail of us together that i've created with photoshop, y'know little things like that. just to show her i care. i fucking care! YOU BETTER FUCKING GET THAT RESTRAINING ORDER DROPPED! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY! But seriously, stalking is pretty much the ultimate form of flattery. I know i would love it if the roles were reversed. And who can honestly blame me for being less than confident around girls? You can only be kicked so many times before you get the clue to stay the fuck down. Have any of you ever gotten the "preimptive strike"? Please let me know, i thought it was more common than what it apparently is. The preimptive strike is when a girl gets the feeling you are going to build up enough confidence to ask her out (god forbid!), so she sits you down and gives ya the ol "listen, its not gonna happen" speech. At this point you sit there feeling like an asshole in uncomfortable silence until you slink away into a corner to die. pretty horrible experience. It has happened to me like 3 or 4 times now, and i come to find that people have never even heard of this happening. please tell me if you have so i can feel like less of a loser. Eh, fuck 'em. they're loss. I think ill just continue getting drunk at kick ass parties. If hickeys from guys are all i can get, then what the hell. keep em coming. Alright enough with the melodrama and bitching. Man, if this entry were music it would be given the dreaded label of "emo", what a deterrant to the two people who read this. Aw well, I'm gonna watch some tv and hit the sack (then mebbe i'll go to bed, hahahah, oh man, im hilarious!). Love, Dieter ::::end transmission::::: Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: Jawbreaker-24 Hour Revenge Therapy (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 17th, 2003
11:47 am	Love is for Assholes somethingrobot: you were in some kind of hilarious joking cynical as fuck mood. it was pretty refreshing. you don't see too many people bitterly laughing at the overall fuckedupness of thier life. chestrfieldkingg: ill take that as a compliment, i think somethingrobot: it's totally a compliment. ahhh Valentine's Day, how little i remember. Current Mood: uncomfortable Current Music: Kissing Chaos-Enter with a Bullet (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 25th, 2002
3:07 am	when there is no where left to turn, you turn to dance.... :::::begin transmission:::::: ya know, its days like these. days where yer not really sure where to turn. the pressures and stress of day to day life are crushing down on you like an over weight bully demonstrating on you "the piledriver." you are pinned. you are helpless. you look for a way out. how do you escape this stress in your life? how do release the tension, even if only temporarily? suicide? no. you turn to the JOCK JAMS. nothing makes me feel so alive as when i go over to a friend's house, we pump up the jams and fuckin dance until our feet bleed. everything from naughty by nature to blackstreet to C&C Music Factory! mix it up with a little montel jordan for the ladies, then strap on your favorite band aid for nelly's "gettin' hot in herre." i challenge anyone to stay still during that song. you just gotta dance dance dance your problems away! we did every move ever invented and a few of our own! the rodger rabbit, the robot, the ass slap, even the electric slide! as soon as someone threw on Thriller i even spontaneously invented the Michael Jackson "baby dangle" move. it was sweet shit! i give mad props to my girl denny, you put the FU in fun, girl! what was that crazy move you were doing? the home row? wicked moves, girl, wicked! lets not forget crytle, either! damn! you were dancin like Sir Mix-a-lot wrote "baby got back" just for you! girl, you can work that ass like its a 9-5! you can dance with me anytime, honey! Also, Bobby, man, they played our song....."too close" by Next. i thought of you man. it made me miss you sooo much! It was like you were grinding on my leg the whole time, and when it ended i admit, i shed a tear. can't wait to see you again, call me! so don't give up hope kids, just whipe out yer jock jams cds! i know you all have em! even you industrial goth kids! i know you got em hidden from yer friends! thats it for me, im out! love, dieter ::::end transmission::::: Current Mood: rejuvenated Current Music: jock jams vol. I (a classic) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 2nd, 2002
1:59 am	"pornos and snuff films, i should be disgraced!" ::::begin transmission:::: Is it just me, or are snuff films like the best thing on earth? i mean good lawd, nothing gets me going like a really hot snuff film. I don't really know if its the rape or the climax at the end in which they kill the bitch. im really not sure, perhaps the combination. alll i know is that nothing arouses me more than seeing someone brutally and sesnselessly sexually mistreated followed by a nice gun wound to the face. even the pools of blood and spunk make my taste buds tingle with delight. i mean, honestly, is there anyone out there who doesn't get a little tingle in their under regions when thinking of sexually related homocides. oh man, i just sprayed my shorts, oh baby!!! its running down my leg. why did my suitemate just run out of the room so quickly? whats his problem? aw well. im gunna sleep like a baby tonite! smell ya later. lubs, dieter. p.s. hey, bobby, im afraid im gunna need that tape we made together back for legal reasons. sorry dude, i know you were lovin it. oh, and do you think you could make a quick copy for jesus. the man upstairs loves that shit! oh, and one more thing....do you remember her name or where we ended up burying her, cuz i don't. http://www.snuffx.com/x/banners/Image3.jpg am i kidding? ::::end transmission::::: Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Jock Jams Vol. 4, nothing goes better with snuff! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 30th, 2002
1:15 am	thats me on the left, with my big sis! (Comment on this)
1:06 am	what if....what if.... ::::begin transmission:::: ahhh, nites like tonite. a cool breeze out, weakerthans on the stereo, and a mind thats drifting. im here, alone, in my dorm room. i've seen closets with more space. but its mine and i don't share it, and its home. In this environment its easy to let your mind wander, i frequently get stuck in that depressed situation in which i think about unattainable girls, sad songs, and bobby ring, a little too far for comfort. thats when i like to take a step back and think about what my life would be like if i were a pop star. oh things would be so different, so much better. i would get to wear all of the latest fashion before they were laughable trends. ya know, the kind where my tits all hang out, but the second im criticized for it im like "hey, why you lookin? PERV!" HAHAHA, oh the games i play. i could be the biggest cock tease in the world. i would make em want it, but then say "nu uh, im savin this shit for marriage, unless bobby ring wanted some that is." ooooooh, don't tease if you aint gunna please!" i would have millions of adoring fans who sang along with every word of every emotionless trite bullshit song that someone wrote for me. i would lip sync every word right back at em. then just when they thought they could get a piece of me i would have my security guards beat the fuck out of em in the back alley. take that fuckers, no one, not no one owns a piece of dieter von hamburglar! bitch! but eventually my moment in the spot light, as well as my looks, will fade. that is what i am truly looking forward to. i would then get totally fat, just lying around the house, having butlers kiss my ass and do everything for me. it would be just like that anna nichole smith show. i would lay around moaning a lot talking about how im too lazy to masterbate. ahhhhh, pop stardom is certainly the life for me. but don't worry, i won't forget all you little people as im stepping on you to get to the top. ahhhh, im feeling better already. man, i AM too lazy to masterbate. im already half way there. fuck you guys. love, dieter (yes, i am a guy......or am i?) :::::end transmission::::: Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: weakerthans-left and leaving (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 28th, 2002
8:10 pm	the kill fix.....i need it......I NEED IT!!!! :::::begin transmission:::::: well, last nite was about to be the most boring friday nite in history, but then hooters saved the day. nothing like a good meal at HOOTERS. lucious lucious hooters. but alas, tonite, the same situation. what the hell am i going to do. everyone is gone, there aint shit to do, im going insane. someone please put me outta my misery!!!!! :::::end transmission::::: Current Mood: bored Current Music: Discount Singles Collection Vol. 2!!! (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 26th, 2002
3:17 am	Distatsteful, ugly and cheap, yeah, thats how you make me feel. Capitolism Stole My Virginity! :::::begin transmission:::::: its true, im back. believe it.....or......believe it i guess....wow, that was not clever. eh, its 3am, take what you can get! good lawd, my suitemate Mike came home tonite with a hickey the size of my fucking fist on his neck! gay guys get all the action, its hardly fair. I would just like to give a seductive wink to anyone who attended Plea 4 Peace on Thursday, it was fucking amazing. Lawrence Arms were great as usual despite their ignoring of any song demands that i made. Those sexy sonsofbitches! Then it was Common Rider baby! Jesse Michaels from Operation Ivy, like my favorite band in high skool and i got to fuckin meet him!! he even signed my ticket stub! That's two idols down, one to go.....Blake, baby, ill get you on Oct 20th in chicago!!! Then some shitty hardcore band called Poison the Well. Yikes, they did a Nirvana cover that i didn't even recognize due to all the fucking screaming. why does hardcore have to suck so much? The highlight of the evening was certainly The (International) Noise Conspiracy!!!!! FUCKING AMAZING!!! very possibly the best live band i've ever seen. Dennis fuckin knows how to werk a mic, that bitch even caught it behind his neck once and popped it back up!! He prolly did lots of other impressive stuff, but i was a bit too distracted by THE MOST GORGEOUS GIRL IN THE WORLD!!!! good GOD the keyboard player/guitarist, Sara, is fuckin hot!!! girls like this do not exist outside of rock stardom! Her jet black hair was all fuckin seductively in her face as she fuckin rocked out on guitar. and get this...she don't speak a word of English. Im soooo in love. I spooed my pants like 80 times that nite. my penis was about 3 feet away from entering her vagina when a security guard tackled me. I escaped his custody with a well timed chilli whip to the face! good lawd, im in love baby! I do enjoy the promise ring, but i have seen them like 6 times now and there is no fucking way that they could ever follow the international noise conspiracy. It's official, my friends are drunken assholes. They puked on the way to the show and got in a fuckin physical confrontation at Plea 4 fucking Peace!!! Kinda defeats the point. Tonite i saw the Bourne Identity, wasn't overly impressed. decent action scenes, little plot. the only thing saving it was the fact that LOLA was in it!!!! yay!! ok, its time to sleep i think. I MISS YOU BOBBY!!!! oh baby, let the melodrama begin again! ::::end transmission::::: Current Mood: amused Current Music: Glassjaw-Worship and Tribute (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 24th, 2002
2:23 am	power can be such a tease, you're always wanting more. it's good to know that just like sex, it can be paid for begin transmission: im back from madison. thanks fer missing me.....jackasses. does anyone actually read this thing? prolly not. i could talk about how i made that snuff film and no one would even know any better. aw well. Madison was a lot of fun. There were a bit too many people there crammed in those tiny dorm rooms, but i had a great time with brad and carrie. they were very nice and hospitable. I sure did enjoy getting harrassed by that creepy homeless skank. as fer the show: THE EXPLANATION: shitty. decent chops on guitars, poor song writing, looked like pretty boys trying to be oi punx. THE ARRIVALS:i don't much care for them. They played well and are very good at what they are trying to sound like, its just not really my thing. very typically chicago. DILLINGER FOUR:pretty funny, played like shit due to intoxication. the highlight was when paddy started eating some guy's chapstick and then shoved it in his butt and gave it back. gross. i got back to milwaukee at about 3:30. i had an astronomy exam at 10:30. i didn't sleep fer a long time. i think i did ok tho. gay fuckin astronomy lab on monday nite, i hated it Tonite i saw the Promise Ring at their record release party for Atomic @the Miramar. they played their entire new album and then some really old ones. They played extremely well, but i definitely would have perferred to hear some stuff from Very Emergency. It was dan didier's (drums) berfday so it was extra extra special. man, i sure do love watchin Davey dance around while he's playing. it's mesmerizing. good shit. ok, thas all fer now. later assclowns. love, dieter end transmission: Current Mood: predatory Current Music: the promise ring-wood/water <--fuck yea! (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 20th, 2002
3:23 am	spending the afternoon willing traffic lights to change... begin transmission: The movie last nite was really good. I went with Ciara and her roommate, Anne. I had no idea what it was about before going, but i just decided what the hell and i went. It was called Y Tu Mama Tambie (and your mother too), Spanish w/ subtitles. I don't think i have ever seen a movie with this much sex that was not a porno. There was fucking like every two minutes w/ absolutely no protection used. It also had a really good plot and really good acting tho. Tonite i went to the Jim Walsh Gallery with Mike. It was pretty cool, lots of really cool lookin' art including that of my friend Matt Geiger's concrete action figure display. Poor He-Man. Bands played there as well including: JACOBI-funny as shit. Cobi, the one man banjo show, i loved it, especially the God song. I LOVE WRESTLER-matt and nicholai doing their interpretation of a Japanese hardcore band translated into english. VERY funny-SUPER AMERICAN ROCK N ROLL!!!! TAB-played like hell (as usual), but always very funny and very entertaining. LET'S GO DIE-reunited, prolly for the only time ever, but they played very tight and good. few vocals tho, which sucked. They are a good band, but i hate that fuckin' name! BLUE BALLS-i only saw half their shindig cuz i was doin other stuff, but i was impressed. wish i would've watched more, what the hell was i doin? THE CHOCOLATE FANTASY GIRLS-i haven't a clue. i didn't watch em. oops. the place felt all ritzy and they had a DJ n shit. After some socializing me and mike walked around fer a lil bit and caught a bus home. Once we were home we both go very catty (not with each other), it was wierd. we were just bitching about everything. im still catty, i fuckin hate everything! I'm totally overly sensitive and bitchy as hell. Tomorrow im going to Madison to see some friends, hang out, and then see Dillinger Four on sunday. we'll see how it goes, kinda a big group, i dunno how to handle that with all this bitchyness in me. i guess ill try. fuck you, ill write more later if you get off my fuckin ass about it. love, dieter end transmission: Current Mood: irritated Current Music: American Steel-Jagged Thoughts (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 18th, 2002
8:26 pm	im fuckin busy gettin busy, lemme alone! begin transmission: i can't believe how much i hate each and every one of you. Sunday: kick ass BBQ cook out at Paul and Betsy's Pagoda. Sooooo much fuckin meat, i loved it. Anyone who was not in attendance and has a less that brilliant excuse totally sucks, that means you, mike. Monday: very fuckin' busy w/ a gay film paper on The Battle Of Algiers-not recommended. Also a really shitty class that i hate at nite Tuesday: Free show at the union: SKYLER-pretty good-sounds like a heavier Promise Ring, good pedal effects, very polished. URBAN LEGENDS-was turned off at first impressions, but after i sat and listened i kind of liked them. Sounded like a cross between the White Stripes, Ted Leo, and Simon&Garfunkel. Just one guy w/ acoustic guitar & harmonica and one girl on drums. folky pop stuff, not bad. IFIHADAHIFIi-always entertaining. very insane. people were coming in just to see wtf was goin on. sounds like: a fart in a megaphone, but in a good way. Wednesday: Ann Beretta show at the Globe w/ Dan TOM SERVOS-fuckin great, i like that band a lot. sounds like:D4 meets LA? i dunno. BROWNSTUDY-very talented w/ instruments, but fuckin suck at songwriting. overall-horrible LACK OF MOTIVATION-stupid name, looked like old guys in a high skool band. sounds like: a cross between Saves the Day and Good Charlotte w/ a bit of New Found Glory, ick!!! they sucked. ANN BERETTA-drummer was sick so they did acoustic set, which ruled cuz i like their acoustic stuff even better than their electric. Rob is such a great fuckin songwriter and rules at singing, playing guitar. excellent performance, however annoyed by those dickheads from Madison trying to mosh to an acoustic set and being totally obnoxious. i still wish Rob would've played FM tho. aw well. Thursday: wastin my time. gunna go see some mexican flick at the oriental in a lil bit. Ill tell ya how it goes. ill have to save Oceans 11 for another nite. There, i fuckin' updated, kiss my ass now. end transmission: Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: Propagandhi-Less Talk, More Rock (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 17th, 2002
2:35 am	fuck you, wheels Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Cleavland Bound Death Sentence-S/T (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 6th, 2002
1:07 am	omigod, im sooooo drunk!!! the perfect end to a shitty day i love you all ill write more, i promise im sooo sowwy fer the shit i pull bye now cuz im drunk love, dieter Current Mood: drunk Current Music: phantom planet-the guest (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 4th, 2002
6:48 pm	oh my god where the fuck have i gone? (2 Comments |Comment on this)